By Sami Shields of ContemporaryVA
With Valentines day coming up just around the corner, there are many ways that you can either ignite, re-ignite, and keep the spark in your marriage. Unfortunately jobs, kids, and chores all seem to take precedents over maintaining a healthy vibrant intimate life. Couples have to make a conscious concerted effort to maintain this part of their relationship. It does take time, work, and energy. The payoffs to maintaining and building intimacy are a continuous renewed sense of closeness and understanding, deeper emotional connection, and increased physical satisfaction Read on for some great ideas to keep the fire blazing in your marriage.
1. Be Romantic, but keep it real.
Romance is vital in any relationship. Always seeing the best in your partner helps to keep things intimate and love should be expressed. But if you have been raised on Mills and Boon Romance novels or feel-good movies, then your own romantic expectations can work against the sustainability of your long term relationship.
2. See your partner for who he or she really is.
The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the idea of them. When you realize that more often than not, you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.
3. Be willing to learn from each other.
The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.
4. Embrace the feeling of touch.
Touch is an excellent way to cultivate intimacy. Practice touching your partner and discuss the intention of what each kind of touch means to you. From healing to affectionate to sensual to seductive, it can be many things. Touch that is gentle, tender and nurturing and sensual feeds the embers and keeps the fire alive. It does not have to end in sex. Often, couples who have lost the love spark do not touch each other because they are unclear on what touch means. When this happens, nurturing touch can be mistaken for sexual touch and it can be easier to avoid it altogether than to have the discussion around intention. This inaction cements new dangerous habits that have you opting out from being fully present in your relationship. Desire cultivates more desire.
5. Be affectionately supportive.
Frequent affectionate support that raises hormone levels and provides a sense of connection may improve intimacy and overall marital satisfaction.
What are you currently struggling with? Let us know in the comments below or send a message here.